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22.

Reflections on Saddam

Tom Watts

 

This morning after sitting meditatively for awhile in a quiet state, I looked at CNN on the web and saw that Saddam had been captured. As I looked at his picture I felt grateful that his reign of terror was over but felt no joy or elation. The surprising and powerful thought that came out of nowhere was, "That’s my brother." and I was overwhelmed with emotion. I felt a deep connection with him and had the realization that who he had become and what he had done is a form of what I can become and do if fear becomes the driving force in my life. Yes, I am very aware of the unbelievably cruel things he did to many thousands of people and would never think to justify them. However there is a strong message here for me that I want to use to full advantage in my life.

It is interesting that I always did see him as very fearful figure. He usually exhibited anger which many think is powerful but is really just a form of fear like all the other so called negative emotions when let run out of control. You would have to have a huge amount of fear to periodically murder your top associates to avoid the possibility of assassination. It takes a lot of fear to murder countless thousands of your own countrymen to eliminate the possibility of them causing you harm. It is suddenly so obvious to me that without Love, using the deepest meaning of that word, we are capable of anything. Without Love fear takes over. If fear takes over almost completely and armors us against any penetration of Love what horrific thing couldn’t we do?

I think that the same applies to other perpetrators including the Columbine teenagers. Again I would never attempt to justify their behavior but I can easily see how they may have reached the point that they did. If they were immersed in isolation, fear and anger then Love would have little chance to operate in their lives. It never made sense to me when people said that they were just evil as if they come from a totally different source than the rest of us. This day I see that they were my brothers as well.

One thing I know from personal experience and my work with others is that when fear entrenches in any form, we become narcissistic. And the greater the fear, the more narcissistic we become. In the extreme the only focus is on how everything affects "me’" and our compassion and empathy for others is lost – even for our self. In the extreme of that state we can only see others as a means to be manipulated for our own pleasure and safety. Saddam represents this extreme and it is all too easy to distance myself from him and maintain that I am absolutely and totally unlike him.

However if I do that, I can see that I’ll miss the extraordinary gift of the insight I had this morning when I emotionally realized, "That’s my brother." In realizing that, although I haven’t and wouldn’t let my fears drive me to that same extreme, I can see that when I’ve let fear, anger, guilt sadness, etc. take over, I’m perfectly capable of being unkind, narcissistic, judgmental, and manipulative without true compassion and empathy for others. Saddam offers the insight that let’s me see where the highway of fear can ultimately lead. Obviously most of us are not so lacking in Love that we could follow it that far. But just by seeing the end point of that path I am realizing more vividly than ever before that I don’t want to take another step in that direction. And if I slip and do step that way I want to catch it as soon as I can and make the immediate correction.

I am also aware that other Saddams exist who only lack the power and means to do what he did. But I am also aware that I don’t have to fear and judge them to be aware of the state they are caught in and how dangerous they are. They obviously have to be stopped and controlled at every opportunity but in this moment I can clearly see that they are my brothers too. If I go to fear and hate to protect myself from them, I enhance the atmosphere of fear and add to the problem instead of being a force for good. If I operate from fear and hate, I can justify almost any action to protect myself and others even if some people are injured in the process.

This clearly isn’t about being naïve. This is about truth. The truth is that if I can that if I can acknowledge that same fears exist in me that operate in Saddam, I have the opportunity to undo it and become a force for peace.

So how might this apply in your life? Do you recognize fear including it's other forms such as sadness, anger, guilt, etc. in your own life or those around you? It's important to realize that since fear doesn't feel empowering, we often cover it with anger which only provides an illusion of power. It's difficult to see that fear underlies feelings of sadness, guilt, depression, etc. but, time after time as clients explore these feelings and the beliefs that fuel them they discover fear underneath.

You can discover and "undo" these fear based beliefs by simply exploring them - but without judgment. Those last two words are critical. Just do it with a sense of curiosity. Don't even focus on changing anything.

Just look at why you feel anger for instance. Is it because you believe that you need anger in order to take care of yourself? If so, is that true? Could you take care of yourself as well or better coming from a calm centered place? Undoubtedly so. Why are you fearful? Is it so that can stay aware, assess situations, and
take appropriate action? If so you might come to realize that in the
absence of fear you are much more intuitive and able to deal with the situation much more creatively. Just look for the reason that you are choosing fear, knowing that there is always a good reason and see if it holds water as an effective strategy. Remember, no judgments. You can do this with yourself or others. Again if you are supporting someone else, remember no judgment - just curiosity.

Another effective practice which may have the appearance of doing nothing but is in fact very powerful, is to simply get into the habit of watching your mind - again without judgment. If you notice that you are being angry, just notice from that witness self. If you are fearful, just notice from that witness. You'll start to realize how your mind really works and that will empower you to change it - often without even trying.

The important thing to realize here is that we are not victims of
uncontrolled feelings. We choose them for "good" reasons (the underlying belief that they are helpful) and we therefore have the ability to examine them and "undo" them or help others "undo" them.

Just think what a different world this can be if we have compassion for ourselves and others as we undo and avoid the consequences of fear.

Thomas K. Watts

2408 Stove Prairie Rd.

Bellvue, CO 80512

970-484-7276

tkwatts@frii.com

 

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